Yes, the fight for animal rights is serious stuff. But a little humor along the way can help relieve the stress. So let’s have a little giggle before heading back out to the front lines. Please share your favorite animal joke. I’ll get the ball rolling with some of my favorites, starting with one from Ingrid’s book Lets Have a Dog Party!:
A dog walked into a Western Union office and took a form to fill out. He wrote “Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof.”
The clerk examined the form and politely said to the dog, “There are only nine words here. You could send another Woof for the same price.”
“But,” the dog replied, “that would make absolutely no sense at all!”
And here are some others:
Q: Why do seagulls live by the sea?
A: Because if they lived by the bay, they would be bagels.
I was in the backyard hanging the laundry when an old, tired-looking dog wandered into the yard. I could tell from his collar and well-fed belly that he had a home. But when I walked into the house, he followed me, sauntered down the hall and fell asleep in a corner. An hour later, he went to the door, and I let him out. The next day he was back. He resumed his position in the hallway and slept for an hour. This continued for several weeks. Curious, I pinned a note to his collar: “Every afternoon, your dog comes to my house for a nap.” The next day, the dog arrived with a different note pinned to his collar: “Small wonder! He lives in a home with 10 children! Wouldn’t you need a nap?”
A 3-year-old boy went with his dad to the local animal shelter to see a litter of kittens. Upon returning home, he breathlessly informed his mother, “There were two boy kittens and two girl kittens.” “How did you know?” his mother asked. “Daddy picked them up and looked underneath,” he replied. “I think it’s printed on the bottom.”
What’s worse than a giraffe with a stiff neck? An elephant with a stuffed nose.
Deep within a forest, a little turtle began to climb a tree. After hours of effort, he reached the top, jumped into the air waving his front legs, and crashed to the ground. After recovering, he slowly climbed the tree again, jumped, and again fell to the ground.
The turtle tried again and again while a couple of birds sitting on a branch watched his sad efforts. Finally, the female bird turned to her mate and chirped, “Dear, I think it’s time to tell him he’s adopted.”
A man goes into a theater with his dog to watch a film. When there’s a funny scene, the dog starts laughing. A little later on, there’s a sad part and the dog starts crying.
This goes on throughout the entire film, laughing and crying at all the right places. A man sitting a few rows back has witnessed the entire thing and decides to follow the man out. In the foyer, he approaches the dog owner and says, “That’s truly amazing!”
“It certainly is,” the dog owner replied. “He hated the book!”
A guy decides he wants his dog to learn to dance, so he enrolls the dog in dance classes. Dutifully, he takes his dog to class every week, but he sees no improvement. Finally, he takes the instructor aside and says, “I’m spending a fortune here. Why isn’t my dog’s dancing improving?”
“I’m sorry,” replies the instructor, “but there’s not much I can do. Your dog has two left feet.”
Your turn! Have any animal jokes to share?
Make your time with your friends and family—including your animal companions—even more meaningful.