Family & Friends

  • Dec
  • 31

A Bit of a Giggle to Start the New Year!

Posted by at 5:38 AM | Permalink | Comments (5)


laughingYes, the fight for animal rights is serious stuff. But a little humor along the way can help relieve the stress. So let’s have a little giggle before heading back out to the front lines. Please share your favorite animal joke. I’ll get the ball rolling with some of my favorites, starting with one from Ingrid’s book Lets Have a Dog Party!:

A dog walked into a Western Union office and took a form to fill out. He wrote “Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof.”

The clerk examined the form and politely said to the dog, “There are only nine words here. You could send another Woof for the same price.”

“But,” the dog replied, “that would make absolutely no sense at all!”

And here are some others:

***

Q: Why do seagulls live by the sea?

A: Because if they lived by the bay, they would be bagels.

***

I was in the backyard hanging the laundry when an old, tired-looking dog wandered into the yard. I could tell from his collar and well-fed belly that he had a home. But when I walked into the house, he followed me, sauntered down the hall and fell asleep in a corner. An hour later, he went to the door, and I let him out. The next day he was back. He resumed his position in the hallway and slept for an hour. This continued for several weeks. Curious, I pinned a note to his collar: “Every afternoon, your dog comes to my house for a nap.” The next day, the dog arrived with a different note pinned to his collar: “Small wonder! He lives in a home with 10 children! Wouldn’t you need a nap?”

***

A 3-year-old boy went with his dad to the local animal shelter to see a litter of kittens. Upon returning home, he breathlessly informed his mother, “There were two boy kittens and two girl kittens.” “How did you know?” his mother asked. “Daddy picked them up and looked underneath,” he replied. “I think it’s printed on the bottom.”

***

What’s worse than a giraffe with a stiff neck? An elephant with a stuffed nose.

***

Deep within a forest, a little turtle began to climb a tree. After hours of effort, he reached the top, jumped into the air waving his front legs, and crashed to the ground. After recovering, he slowly climbed the tree again, jumped, and again fell to the ground.

The turtle tried again and again while a couple of birds sitting on a branch watched his sad efforts. Finally, the female bird turned to her mate and chirped, “Dear, I think it’s time to tell him he’s adopted.”

***

A man goes into a theater with his dog to watch a film. When there’s a funny scene, the dog starts laughing. A little later on, there’s a sad part and the dog starts crying.

This goes on throughout the entire film, laughing and crying at all the right places. A man sitting a few rows back has witnessed the entire thing and decides to follow the man out. In the foyer, he approaches the dog owner and says, “That’s truly amazing!”

“It certainly is,” the dog owner replied. “He hated the book!”

***

A guy decides he wants his dog to learn to dance, so he enrolls the dog in dance classes. Dutifully, he takes his dog to class every week, but he sees no improvement. Finally, he takes the instructor aside and says, “I’m spending a fortune here. Why isn’t my dog’s dancing improving?”

“I’m sorry,” replies the instructor, “but there’s not much I can do. Your dog has two left feet.”

***

Your turn! Have any animal jokes to share?

Posted to Family & Friends | Posted to Tags:

More:

Bookmark and Share
5 Comments

Subscribe to this post's comment RSS.

    kerry says...

    December 31st, 2008, 10:51 am

    What does a dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac do?????

    Stays up all night wondering if there is a dog.

    kerry says...

    December 31st, 2008, 5:39 pm

    My favorite joke to tell to hunters is:

    3 men show up at the pearly gates. St. Peter asks the first, “What is your IQ?”. The man answers 140. St Peter says, “My My. with an IQ of 140 I would expect you to have accomplished much while you were on earth.” The man answers, “Yes. In fact, I won the Genesis award.” St. Peters say, “Wonderful. You are very welcome. Come on in.” St Peters then asks the second man for his IQ. The second man says “110″. St Peters says “That also is very good. I expect you also accomplished wonders.” The second man replies, “I won the Nobel Peace prize twice.” Once again the gates open and the second man enters. St Peter then asks the third man for his IQ. “49″ responds the man. “Oh,” says St. Peter, “Did you get your elk?”

    Laura says...

    January 1st, 2009, 1:43 pm

    Great jokes, Steve. This was a fun post for me to start the new year with!

    Susan Hargreaves says...

    January 5th, 2009, 12:03 pm

    How many vegans does it take to screw in a light bulb ?

    Six, one to screw in the light bulb, five to read the ingredients.

    Capt. Paul watson of the Sea Shepherd told me this joke about 14 years ago, and I still find it a giggle.

    Patty Bowers says...

    January 6th, 2009, 2:58 pm

    Hi Steve- Thanks for the great laughs. One of my fave jokes since I was a child is a vegetarian joke too! ( & By the way, the only joke I have ever been able to remember) :

    Q. What is a Honeymoon sandwich?
    A. Lettuce alone!

Post a Comment

Please keep comments polite, constructive, and on topic. All fields in bold are required.

About Family & Friends

Make your time with your friends and family—including your animal companions—even more meaningful.

Recent Comments

Disclaimer

The information and views provided here are intended for informational and preliminary educational purposes only. From time to time, content may be posted on the site regarding various financial planning and human and animal health issues. Such content is never intended to be and should never be taken as a substitute for the advice of readers' own financial planners, veterinarians, or other licensed professionals. You should not use any information contained on this site to diagnose yourself or your companion animals' health or fitness. Readers in need of applicable professional advice are strongly encouraged to seek it. Except where third-party ownership or copyright is indicated or credited regarding materials contained in this blog, reproduction or redistribution of any of the content for personal, noncommercial use is enthusiastically encouraged.